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Homer Stories

One thing I never really realized before becoming a parent is that my kid would make me laugh every single day. That’s including the days he drives me bonkers, as well! (Sometimes it’s even while he’s driving me bonkers!) People always say, “Oh man, you’ve got to write these things down!” And I do try, but sometimes the days get away from me, or it’ll be night time and I’ll say, oh no, what was it he said that made me laugh SO hard earlier?? I made a brief list of things I jotted down, little lines to help me remember conversations, and now I’m making this entry before I forget what any of it means. Without further ado, here are some recent conversations with Homer…

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One day, Homer asked where we were going, and I said, “Do you want to go to the park?”

He replied, “YEAH-uh, bay-buhs!!” I don’t know where he heard that particular pronunciation of “yeah babies” but it made me laugh a lot!

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Homer was recounting something that had happened with the crows outside (probably repeating the story of the crow who stole our bag of dried mangoes at the zoo!), and said, “You know.. the crows.. with their.. the, uh.. pointy noses?” So then I taught him the word “beak.” It was cute how he improvised when he didn’t know the word, though!

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Joe was doing something in the next room, playing a loud video game, I think. I knew we were getting ready for bed time, and I sighed in frustration. Before I knew it, Homer ran out of the room, ran up to Joe and said, “Daddy, you have to stop doing that. It’s bothering Mommy!!” I hadn’t said anything, but Homer knows what’s going on, haha!

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When Tails pooped in the bath tub, I grabbed some toilet paper to clean it up. Homer heard Joe’s CPAP machine noise, the sound it makes when Joe takes it off, so he knew Joe was waking up. He ran up to him, shouting, “Daddy, Daddy! Tails pooped in my bath tub!!”

I heard Joe respond, but not what he said. No worries, Homer was on it. He ran back to me, shouting, “Mommy!! Daddy says Tails is SICK!”

“No, he’s not sick, buddy. His litter box is a bit dirty, and he just does this sometimes.”

He ran back to Joe. “DADDY!!! Tails isn’t sick!! He just doesn’t like his dirty litter box!”

Later, when Joe and I replayed the conversation amongst ourselves, we realized we’d thought each other had told him what to say, but we hadn’t. We were just responding to him, and then he was relaying the information. In fact, Joe had only said, “Oh, well maybe it’s because he’s been feeling sick lately?” And that turned into Homer saying, “Daddy says he’s SICk!” haha!!

It was just so funny how excited he got over the whole situation, amazed that Tails had pooped in the tub, I guess.

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Joe told me that one night he was watching tv, and Homer had been getting ready for bed time with me. He sneaked away to go see what Joe was doing, and stood behind the couch, and surprised Joe, who’d just watched a commercial for something spooky. Maybe it was an ad for The Walking Dead or something like that. And Homer just said calmly and seriously, “I don’t think I should have watched that.”

He’s funny about that self-censoring stuff. On a different night, he saw a snippet of that Paul Rudd movie, “This is 40,” and they were using a lot of profanity. Homer asked, “Is this a Mommy and Daddy show? Not for kids?” We said yeah, it probably was, and he said, “Oh I shouldn’t watch it.”

“Right,” we said.

“But I did,” he added.

We laughed and said it was fine, but he probably shouldn’t watch anymore, so I led him back to brush his teeth and go to bed. This always happens at bed time, apparently!

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While driving to the park, I heard Homer say to Ashton, “You’re mine. You’re mine! Awww… Just a few more kisses? Just a few more kisses?” and then he giggled. He said to me proudly, “Mommy! I’m his best friend!”

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After tripping earlier in the day, Homer was looking at the scratches on his knee. “Sorry I hurted myself,” he said.

“Oh honey, don’t be sorry, it’s okay.”

“I am sorry. I might have hurted myself forever and then I’ll have to go to jail!”

Where does he get this stuff? The saying sorry stuff must come from me saying, “Oh I’m sorry you hurt yourself,” to which he thinks he also needs to say sorry. Oops. But going to jail?! I have no idea…

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Homer has an awesome medical set that he got for Christmas from the wonderful Sarah, Gil, and Marcus. 🙂 One day, he put on his stethoscope and walked up to me saying in his most serious voice. “Hello. I am the doctor. Where is your heart?”

LOL! Uh.. I want a new doctor!!

After my examination, he told me, “Your heart is not bumping. These fire arrows will help you.” Then he picked up his bow and arrow set!

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Many more stories to come! Hope you enjoyed these!

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