Homer Stories Part 2

Standard

And now, more Homer stories!

= = =

Things overheard when Homer was playing, voicing his own characters:

“You’re taking me to the hostable!” (hospital)

“Okay, let’s go eat broccoli now!”

“No, no, he’ll only do it if you ask nicely.”

===

Homer goes through phases of using a new word a lot, often incorrectly, which is really funny. But then he ends up getting the hang of it. Recently, it was “usually.” Like, I’d say, “Okay, are you ready to go to the store?” and he’d say, “Not usually.”

While we were playing with the Mario Bros. dolls, Homer said, “Let’s be in Kamek’s tower! We’re not usually captured. There’s a cage in it!” I think he meant we would be captured… It was a little confusing!

Speaking of confusing, we had a lot of frustration from him and me both before I figured out that he confuses the meanings of “before” and “after.”

“I want to go to the park AFTER the grocery store.”

“Right,” I’d say. “We’re going to the grocery store. Then the park.”

“NO, go to the park AFFTEERRRRRR!!!”

Me: ???!!

===

We were waiting to be seated at a restaurant, and Homer climbed into my mom’s lap. He touched her neck gently and said, “Wow, Nonna, your neck is so soft…” Then added, “I really like your nipple!” (a small mole she has at the base of her neck)

===

Out of the blue one day, Homer muttered in a frustrated tone, “That fuckin’ cyclops.”

“WHAT?!” I said.

He repeated it. Yep, that’s what he said! I think it was from a cyclops in Skylanders. It was really funny, but I did explain that that is NOT a word he should be saying.

He’s usually pretty amazing about that, though. If Joe or I slip up and let out a “bad” word, Homer says, “Oh, don’t say that!” He’s awesome.

===

One night we ordered pizza, and when they knocked on the door, Homer said, “I wanna say hi!” as I went to answer the door.

So he came with me, and we opened the door and Homer said, “Hi, I’m Homer!” and the guy said hi to him, too. I signed for it, got our pizza, and shut the door. As I brought the pizza into the living room, Homer shouted with glee, “That was SUPER FREAKING AWESOME!”

===

While eating, Homer looked at the table, his cup beyond his plate and asked me, “How can I get my drink so I can reach it?”

I explained as I rearranged a couple items, “Well, just move your spoon over here and then move your drink right down here.”

He said excitedly, “WHOA, I didn’t know I could do THAT!!”

I love those moments when the littlest things make you feel like some kind of superhero!

===

Watching Ashton and Tails play, and then take a break, Homer narrated, “Oh. They stopped! Just give them a second, and they’ll cuh-ti-you.” (continue) That was the first time I’d heard him use that word, too! I love when he busts out with words I don’t expect to hear!

===

When I ask him to hand me something, Homer will often do it and then say, “Here you go, my lady!” It is the cutest! He has also called me “my little lady,” “my son*,” and “my Highness.” I could get used to this…

*That one was especially cute because I call him that all the time, and he must just think it’s a term of endearment for anyone, which is just sweet.

===

Homer set up a bunch of toys in front of me and said, “Meet my friends! Oatmeal, Uncle Garth, Nonna, and Tank!” I love when he names toys after people he knows, but having “Oatmeal” in there with the rest just cracked me up!

===

While watching American Idol, Joe asked, “Hey Homer, would you like to audition for American Idol?”

Homer, at his train table, responded, “No thanks, I’m busy doing stuff.”

===

Homer: “I’m an ar.”
Me: *confused look*
Homer: “An ar! Ar ar ar!” *claps his hands*
Me: “Oh, a seal!”

===

Homer came up to me and said, “There’s a little TINY you… And you’re in my guts!”

===

We were all hanging out, Joe at his desk, me nearby in the kitchen, Homer watching Joe doing whatever it was he was doing. I think they were taking turns making crazy sounds or something, too. Joe said, “We gotta stop soon, or else we’re going to make Mommy angry.”

“Angry?” he asked.

“Yeah, and she’ll turn into The Incredible Hulk,” Joe said. “And start smashing everything.”

I laughed and so did Homer.

Joe deepened his voice and said, “You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.”

Homer said, “Aw, yes I would! I would LOVE her!”

I love this kid!

===

194

More soon!